The Ides of March

March proves to be a watershed moment for my personal life and career.

• 13th of March 2020, Friday the thirteenth.

In panic I board one of the last planes flying out of Poland to London, just to learn we’re getting into the lockdown few days later. Back then, with the physical offices closed, it was a first time I started working fully remotely with the assistance of my toddler staying with me at home 24/7. I was confident we'll back in the offices in two weeks tops, but actually we've never really returned to office dynamics we had pre-2020. Oh boy, I almost managed to forget about the massive anxiety of post-apocalyptic reality look-a-like I experienced every single day for the next two years. Now I can see how lucky we were back then, and I appreciate the extra time I got to spend with my daughter. 

• Fast forward to 17th of March 2022, St Patrick's Day.

I’m about my due date, wrapping up my work and making last handovers for my teammates. When I am not working, I’m taking long walks trying to speed things up. I’m on the emotional rollercoaster. I know there is no way back, I cannot pull out right now. I’m terrified of not having control over what could happen in next days, but also I cannot wait to meet our baby.  I know it’s going to hurt, but it’s worth it. And just like that on the UK’s Mothers Day we’re welcoming our son to the world. I’m knackered, but ecstatic, I’m hopeful for the future.

• 15th of March 2023, The Ides of March

The day started off almost as in an American feel good movie, however I already felt it might turn into a sobby, torturing drama. We had a lovely family breakfast, some scrambled eggs, and then suddenly my son started behaving weirdly.  It quickly turned out he had an anaphylactic shock, which scared us to death. Just mindless cross-contamination appeared to be life-threatening for the little baby heavily allergic to eggs. He recovered quickly, but this event put everything into perspective that morning.

When a few hours later I received an email that I’m one of the potentially impacted with redundancy, I didn't shed a single tear as I had expected (and I’m the one who cries easily). 6 years plus a year of a contracting is a h**l of the time in one company, and obviously this is not the way I expected to bid my farewell.

I’m angry, I’m sad, but also grateful for the time at Meta, chances I was given earlier in my career, talented people I've been working for last couple of years.

I know this is one of many crises I’m going to face in my lifetime, so it’s better to grow a thick skin.

And well, I know it’s going to hurt, but I’m sure we’ll all recover and bounce back. 

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